I remember when my dad turned forty. I was twelve, and forty seemed so old. I would never be forty. And yet, here I am, even older than forty and without any part of my life figured out. You would think at the very least that I would have some sort of direction. But I’m still flailing.
I have four kids. Two boys in high school, one boy in elementary school and a daughter in kindergarten. And y’all, I have been struggling. Struggling with aging, struggling with anxiety, struggling with figuring out what I want to do with myself. In my younger life, I worked for an advertising agency. After having children I became a stay-at-home mom. As my oldest son is preparing to leave our home and we are no longer having babies, I wonder what life holds for me next.
It’s scary but exciting. And I know that there are other women just like me, strong women that are now left to try to figure out what the next stage is. And hating parts about that next stage (aging, staying fit, driving all over kingdom come to take every kid to every destination and worrying that you aren’t good enough for any of it), but loving other parts (not having to take the entire nursery with you every time you leave, no more potty-training, traveling with ease, not having to get babysitters or take small children to the grocery store, freedom to leave the house when you need to).
Another thing about me: I have no fashion sense. At all. 90% of the time I wear “active wear”, 8% of the time I wear sweats. 2% of the time I will actually put myself together. Y’all, I am not exaggerating. I probably wear makeup once a week. I may or may not have had a child tell me once that I could come to a school program but only “if you wear real clothes and put on makeup.” So part of this blog is me figuring out what I look good in and what I should wear and what is appropriate.
I struggle with anxiety. Like most of you, it varies from mild to not showering because it seems overwhelming. I am currently working with different coping mechanisms to get this under control. Because sometimes, it’s not.
I’ve had plastic surgery, fillers, Botox and skin treatments. I want to share my results and experiences with doing these procedures with other people. Aging stinks, but there are things we can do to look good at each phase of our lives.
Come join me! It’ll be fun!